anonconcrit ([personal profile] anonconcrit) wrote2015-05-27 02:48 am

ANONYMOUS WRITING FEEDBACK MEME

ANONYMOUS WRITING FEEDBACK MEME
inspired by the previous anon feedback memes


THE RULES

1. If you're a writer, post a comment with your username and/or wherever you post your fics. WRITERS PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU'RE SIGNED IN, either with a dreamwidth account or using your livejournal/another account with OpenID. The account you use to log-in doesn't have to be the account(s) you have your fics on (please link those in the comment), this is just to make sure people aren't impersonating other writers. Comments not following this rule will be deleted.

lj code:


dw code:


other sites (ao3, tumblr, etc):


2. Writers, if you so wish, you may mention in your comments specific things you would like feedback to focus on (i.e: characterization, writing style, pacing, etc. or even a specific fic in particular).

3. Commenters, reply to the thread with your concrit, positive or negative. No bashing, attempts to start wank, or comments on personalities, etc. Try to be genuinely helpful. Writers, please make sure you're prepared to take constructive criticism!

4. Pimp out this post with your thread, using the code below!




Have fun!!

[identity profile] heijihatsutori.livejournal.com 2015-05-29 03:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Hi! I was wondering if somebody can do some feedback on my writing at [livejournal.com profile] heijihatsutori or if you prefer strictly fandom stuff here at AO3 (http://archiveofourown.org/users/heijihatsutori/works).

Most of it are AU and angst is my forte.

I apologize in advance for the grammar since most of them are un-betaed.

Thank you for giving me a bit of your time!

(Anonymous) 2015-06-01 08:03 am (UTC)(link)
Just as a warning beforehand, I've only read the Infinite fics so I don't know how the rest is.

The good, first: I like the plotlines in your fics and your scene arrangement/pacing tends to be pretty good. There's a logical sequence of events and the build-up to the climax is well-done. I also think that you're good at setting the right atmosphere for a scene, giving it more of a dramatic feel, or a sad one, etc. The build-up tends to really pay off then so the climactic scenes are always intense.

Moving on to the bad, though... I know you've made a separate note about the grammar already but unfortunately it's still a little off-putting (at least to me). This is mainly because the errors make a lot of sentences really confusing, sometimes to the point that they require a reread or two for me to understand the meaning. At one point I was reading one of the fics, got to the end and was really confused because I completely misunderstood something in the beginning and so the end made no sense to me. I had to puzzle out some sentences first before I could figure out what really happened. Like I mentioned above, once the effort's taken to figure things out the events do make sense; the problem is they're hard to understand from the get-go and sometimes events (even important ones) end up flying over my head as a result of the grammar, which then upsets my understanding of the entire plotline.

Also, I've noticed that a lot of your dialogue lacks speech tags. While that's perfectly fine for the most part, when conversations go on for long enough and/or there's more than two people in the conversation it gets really easy to lose track of who's speaking (another reason why it's easy to get muddled and misunderstand what happened) and sometimes it's even necessary to backtrack to figure it out. There's no need to note it all the time, but a reminder every now and then would minimise some of the confusion.

My advice would definitely be to find a beta, especially one who won't be afraid to point out grammar errors or mistakes, and for self-editing I'd recommend trying to read the fic from a reader's point of view. Pretend that you don't know anything about your fic at all and go in without any assumptions about the characters/world, then read it over to see if it's confusing at the end.

Sorry if this comes off as harsh! I do like some aspects of your writing, chiefly the pacing/build-up, and the fact that you're actually writing fairly long fic in K-pop fandoms where that's a rarity is a plus in and of itself for me, but I didn't want to sugarcoat.

[identity profile] heijihatsutori.livejournal.com 2015-06-01 03:27 pm (UTC)(link)
It's fine! My Infinite fics are the newest so it reflects my current writing style more I guess. Though they are also the longest, so thank you for giving me a bit of your precious time!

First of all my sincerest gratitude and thank you for the long comment! This is a very solid and sound argument, and definitely not harsh at all, so please don't say sorry. This is my first time asking for this kind of feedback, and honest opinions are definitely what I'm looking for, so again, thank you for being honest with me!

I'm not a native English speaker but I know it doesn't really excuse me from butchering the grammar in writing, so to know the extent of the problem is a big deal for me. Also some people had said that my writing tend to be confusing but I never had the clear idea on WHAT confuses them so, thus this really clears a lot on that aspect.

On the dialogue, it's unarguably my biggest weakness after grammar (my older fics clearly shows my tendency to avoid dialogue at all costs), so I'm part relieved to know it can be okay though I'll have to start figuring out more ways to corporate them better.

Also, thank you for all the advice and suggestions! I never think of reading it from another POV before, so I will definitely give it a try. I usually have my sister as a proofreader but obviously it was not enough ha. I'll take all your advice to heart and work harder from now on.

Alas, thank you for your kind words! I have a blast every time I actually manage to string up coherent plot, and worrying about the pacing is pretty much second nature to me by now, so I'm glad to know that it works. I do wish to keep on writing longer works in the future, so thank you for the support.

Sorry if I sound like a broken record by now, but I really cannot stress enough how thankful I am for this comment. Thanks again for not sugarcoating anything and saying it straight-forwardly; this is exactly what I need to break out of the deadlock plaguing my writing this past couple of months. I'll work harder on my next installment.

Thank you so much!